In Chapter 2 of Sacred Marriage, Thomas begins to analyze how “marital analogies teach us truths about God.” Noting that Isaiah describes God as our husband, rejoicing over us, Thomas writes that “God delights in us. We make His supernatural heart skip a beat.”
He notes that many of our church fathers had a low view of marriage but demonstrates that even those who promoted celibacy admitted that reconciliation is the aim of marriage and acknowledged God’s heart for reconciliation and relationship. Because marriage is a word picture God uses frequently to describe His relationship to us, our earthly marriages can be a holy place where we learn more about God’s character and love for us. The “holy place” of scripture was always a place where God was revealed to his people; in that sense marriage can be a place from which God’s love can be demonstrated to the world.
If we are all about ourselves, we may only maintain our marriages as long as they make us “happy,” but in so doing we will not be demonstrating the power of a reconciling Lover of our souls. If marriage is about God, then we will preserve our marriage to bring God glory and exhibit His sustaining reconciliation in our lives. We must always remember our first call – to be ambassadors of Christ, proclaiming God’s love to all people. Loving, sustaining marriages do just that.
The most horrifying thing discussed in chapter two is a poll conducted by George Barna, in which Barna found that self-described born again Christians have a higher rate of divorce than non-believers and those who would describe themselves as fundamentalists have the highest divorce rate of all. Clearly there is a disconnect between what people claim to believe and the conduct of their lives if those statistics are accurate.
Thomas sums up one of the purposes he desires to keep his marriage together in this way:
One of reasons I am determined to keep my marriage together is not because doing so will make me happier (although I believe it will); not because I want my kids to have a secure home (although I do desire that); not because it would tear me up to see my wife have to “start over” (although it would). The first reason I keep my marriage together is because it is my Christian duty. If my life is based on proclaiming God’s message to the world, I don’t want to do anything to challenged that message. And how can I proclaim reconciliation when I seek dissolution? (emphasis mine)
When we begin to think upon our marriages as a platform for evangelism it forces us to change the way we approach our marriages. They aren’t just for us and our desires; our marriages are just one way that God works through us to advance His Kingdom to all the nations.