What do you stifle in your kids? Do you ever find yourself trying to stop behavior or attitudes in them that reflect your own?
About a week ago I was all up in my kids’ koolaid. There wasn’t anything that they did that was “right.” I was irritable, fussy, and down right mean. After my wife held up a mirror to my attitude, God spoke to my heart.
“Bryan, you know what’s going on here, don’t you?”
Well, I knew, but I didn’t know, right then. God was letting me know that He and I needed to have a little chat.
Clearly, as parents, we try to discipline and correct “bad” behavior. This is good and is part of our responsibility as parents. But, I have recently learned how often I stifle my oldest son’s behavior even when it isn’t “bad” behavior. I actually try to keep him from being all God created him to be.
Now, the real question is why would I do this? I mean, he is my son and I love him. I want the very best for him! But, as God woke me up to the fact I do this with His gentle question/suggestion, I knew I had to ask God: “Lord, why? Why do I get on to Tanner so much? He is such a good and sweet son.”
The answer was a tough one to hear.
“Bryan, you don’t trust me with your children and you don’t love yourself. The things you attack in Tanner are the very things that others taught you weren’t appropriate for a boy. They are good gifts that I gave you and that I gave Tanner, but you have been told that they aren’t lovable. And now you are teaching Tanner that same thing.”
Ouch. I don’t trust God in the way He made me or the way He made my children, and I also still struggle with self-hatred in some ways, even after six months in discipleship training through YWAM. We dealt with a lot of those issues, but oh how far I still have to go.
Does anyone else relate to any of this?