I often spend time on the Proverb of the day as well as on five Psalms for each day. For example, on the 25th day of the month I will read Psalm 25, 55, 85, 115, and 145. (I say all that to suggest it as a good study for anyone.) So, this morning as I read Psalm 25, I came across these verses, all of which seemed appropriate for our discussion of emotional honesty (I’ve bolded David’s emotive outbursts).
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.
18 Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
19 See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.
I am pretty sure if I heard myself saying some of these things, I would call myself a whiner. I definitely wouldn’t want anybody to hear me saying such things. I mean, depending on the intonation, verse 19 almost sounds like a pity party. Everybody hates me, nobody loves me…!!!
But David knew God. I mean He really knew Him. God was his friend and refuge; God was his hope. He knew that God knew his heart and that as he was honest and humble with God, God would speak to him and help him through all the anguish.
Humility is nothing more or less than being honest – honest emotionally, intellectually, and spritually. It really is a reflection of integrity and I don’t think it is any accident that David prays that integrity will protect him. If we fake how we feel, we are faking who we are; we lack integrity.
Worse, when we fake who we are with God we are demonstrating that we don’t trust God. We are saying “if I am honest with God He won’t love me” or “He won’t accept me” or “He will think less of me.” Those subconscious thoughts undermine Who God really Is and make His promises of grace, acceptance, and love empty.
Why do we do this??? Why do we doubt God’s love so?