Rules for Relationship

What do you think of when you think of the Ten Commandments?

I wonder if some think of the Ten Commandments as nothing more than a wet blanket demonstrating that God is the Great Cosmic Killjoy.

Others may think of the Ten Commandments as God flexing His muscles, demonstrating His authority and demanding that everyone acknowledge His authority by following His rules – no questions asked.

Still others may think of them as great suggestions for living.

Some might like them generally and think they are easy to abide by. And, since they believe they generally abide by them they feel a satisfaction in knowing they are good at following the rules.

Regardless, I think most people, when they consider the Ten Commandments or any of God’s directives, focus on them as rules. They are demands by God that people are obligated to follow.

What makes this way of thinking so problematic is the Cross. We learn through what Jesus did on the Cross that all work is done. “It is finished,” Jesus proclaimed from the Cross. And Paul explains that Jesus did everything for us to be reconciled to God, the Father, and that all we need is faith, not works, and even the faith we have is given to us by God. So, if we are saved by grace through the gift of faith we must not live by rules; instead, we live by faith in our reconciled relationship with the Father. We move from a life of religion and rules to a life of relationship.

Given the fact that God does not change, do you think God ever intended the Ten Commandments to be a list of authoritative rules? I don’t think so. I think God simply gave us the recipe for healthy relational living. All of God’s laws were intended to promote healthy, intimate relationships. When someone lies, they destroy trust and relationship. When one commits adultery, secrets develop and relationships deteriorate. Murder ends any possibility of relationship with the one killed. Every one of the commands, when followed, facilitates healthy relationship. When not followed, relationships on many levels break down, with the one immediately affected, their family and their friends. The person who breaks the command also feels guilt and often hides, further distancing him- or herself from intimate relationships.

Even from the beginning we see the results of sin – the sinner hides from God. In other words, intimacy with God is destroyed. The father of lies loves to persuade us to agree with him, believe a lie, break covenant with our Father, and thus destroy our intimacy with the Father and with others. Meanwhile, God, a God of relationship, simply longs to enhance our relationship with Him eternally and infinitely. When we hide from Him He comes looking for us, just as He did with Adam and Eve. “Where are you?” echoes throughout all of time to all of God’s people every time they hide from Him because of the brokenness resulting from sin.

I think if we begin to awaken to the fact that God’s law is completely designed to facilitate relationship with Him, it will radically change how we live. God loves us so much and so longs to live in relationship with us that every Word that He has given us has been designed to bring us into more intimacy with Him and others. Think about that! Every Word and every act of God is designed to bring each one of us into more intimacy with Him and others.

Let that love transform you. Let God rule so that real relationship thrives!

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